Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
