I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
