We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i think i have two assholes
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
