That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
