what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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