if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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