Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
