dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
