i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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