I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
And the cops told us we were all naked.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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