Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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