Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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