Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
