You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
should my penis look like a turkey
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
