thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
