New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
