The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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