Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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