his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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