Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
