im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
There r osticjed everywhere
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize