hell yes lets make some ravioli
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I skipped work to stalk him.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Randomize
