just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
