Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
