i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
