yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
