when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
