you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
