woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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