I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
