i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
