i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
