last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
