somebody snuck up and got me drunk
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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