Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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