do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
