i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
