i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
