So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
