Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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