I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
