In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
