i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
