I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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