That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
