So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
