ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
