Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
this will be a night to untag.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
