she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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