It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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